Tuesday, February 14, 2012

How sick is sick enough?

I wish it would just happen.  I wish I could simply face the porcelain god and give my offering.

Instead, I have spent the majority of today lying on my left side and feeling progressively less well.  I don't know if I ate something that disagreed with me for lunch, or if the drainage from the cold that just will not release its grip on my sinuses has finally gotten to my stomach, or if I have picked up the stomach flu  that made my son's Sunday night so miserable.  In any case, I pretty much bailed on the entire day today.
I got my son to preschool (he was better today) and came home to rest.  Then I drove out to have Valentine's lunch with my husband, which did not go as well as I'd hoped (money discussion; 'nuff said).  Afterwards, I rested in my car for too long, and was just slightly late picking up my daughter from school.  We came home and I claimed the couch, leaving homework for her father to handle.

When you are sick, do you wonder if you are just being too dramatic?  Almost every time, I accuse myself of being weak-willed.  I wonder if someone else would muscle through this and handle everything despite feeling ill, that what feels ill to me would not be such a big deal to a more dedicated mom/employee/wife/whatever.  Of course I wonder every day if someone else would be a better me than I am, and pretty much conclude most days that the answer is yes...  In any case, I gave in to it, seizing the opportunity to not entertain the kids, to have my husband come home early and pick my son up from preschool, to not make dinner, to escape bedtime duties...  I really don't feel well.  My stomach hurts and feels really unpleasant.  I could very well end up with me vomiting all night, but I don't know that will happen.  If it doesn't, what does that mean?  Was I sick enough today to justify "being sick?"  What if I have just been overreacting?  I don't think I have, but I don't know.  How sick is sick enough to "be sick?"

My husband just came up with the kids and saw me sitting up typing.  I wonder what he thinks?  I don't think he thinks I'm faking, but he may think I'm taking advantage of him.  Truth is, I wanted to do a post today and I also was thinking maybe sitting up would feel better than lying down.  I've got some kind of chemical reaction going on in my stomach, making stuff move around and bubble.  I keep burping.  I hope the pepto works... and I don't.  If I could just get sick I would at least feel better emotionally, if not physically.

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